Hmmmmm...06-17-13

“An expectation is a premeditated resentment.” –Author Unknown

You’ve planned the perfect summer vacation.  In your mind, the seaside cottage you’ve rented looks exactly like the picture online.  You imagine your family joyfully frolicking about on the beach under the bright summer sun. No petty arguments.  No black and shriveled barbecue food.  No plugged up toilets.  No stitches needed after stepping on a shell.  And absolutely no rainy days or rip tides.

You’re on your way home after a busy day at work, but your kids were home all day.  In your perfect world, the laundry is done, the dishwasher is loaded, and the counters are clean.  Guess again.

You’ve met the One.  You’re sure that this is destiny.  They excitedly tell you that they’ll call.  The phone never rings.

When we expect people to behave the way we want them to, we are setting ourselves up to be offended.  If their actions don’t fit into our preconceived plan, we take it as personal affront.  But being hurt, perturbed, and annoyed is no way to live.

If we change our expectations to accept-ations, we release the need to judge a person or an event.  It becomes easier to adapt to a change in our well-laid plans.  We accept whatever comes.  We accept whatever goes.  And we give ourselves the great gift of peace of mind.

Don’t swim against the tide in the sea of change. Allow for an occasional storm and ride the waves of your life.

Surf’s up!

Gina J

Hmmmmm...06-03-13

“Most people spend their lives reading the menu instead of enjoying the banquet.” –As read on a fortune cookie

What feeds your soul? Do you have reservations about placing an order?

Maybe you’ve had a lifelong passion for music, but never found the time to take lessons.  If the piano is calling your name, don’t tune it out.  There will always be other things to do—laundry, yard work, chauffeuring the kids around.  Add yourself to your To Do list.  Find time to play.

Maybe you’ve looked longingly at the White Mountains and considered joining the AMC Four Thousand Footer Club, but your time is filled with moving mountains for everyone else.  Don’t put yourself at the bottom of the priority pile.  Tell any guilt you have about enjoying yourself to go take a hike.

Maybe you’ve always wanted to see the west coast, to learn to play golf, to write a book, or take ballroom dance classes.  There’s something for everyone at the banquet table of life.  See what’s cooking.

Eat, drink, and be merry!

Gina J

Hmmmmm...05-28-13

Hmmmmm…05-28-13

“When you can’t give no more, they want it all but you gotta say no.

I’m turning off the noise that makes me crazy. 

Lookin’ back with no regrets,

To forgive is to forget.  I want a little piece of mind to turn to.” –As written by

Jonathan Cain, Steve Perry, and Neal Schon of Journey

Oh, oh, be good to yourself!  Singing it is the easy part.  Doing it is another story altogether.

You intuitively know what’s good for you, though you may push those feelings aside and deny that they exist.  Maybe you feel too guilty or selfish if you put yourself first.  Perhaps you even feel nobler somehow when you neglect your own needs.  But somewhere at the center of your soul, you know what makes you happy.  Now how many people and things have you made a priority over your own physical, mental, and spiritual health?

What is more important than your well-being?  To become a well being, you must begin by treating your lifelong companion with the utmost respect.  No one is going to stand in line to floss your teeth for you or to make sure you eat your vegetables.  Nobody is patiently waiting to drive you to the gym after work, and then put you on the treadmill.  There isn’t a cheering squad waiting to applaud you when you walk in the door at the end of a long day.

Choose how you fuel your body and your mind.  Love yourself when nobody else will.  Oh, oh be good to yourself!

Turn it up,

Gina :-)

Hmmmmm...05-20-13

Hmmmmm…05-20-13

“In a world full of people who couldn’t care less, be someone who couldn’t care more.” –Author Unknown

It’s always something.  Whether people are complaining about taxes, politics, the economy, global warming, or even the younger generation, our famous last words usually are, “I wish they’d do something about this.”

But who exactly are they?  We make it sound like there’s a big think tank where the masterminds of the world are meeting to solve all of our problems, when the only problem we really have is not realizing that they are us.

So if you’re mad as hell and you’re not going to take it anymore—great!  Instead of being an expert complainer, begin right where you are to effect change by applying the catch phrase, “Think globally.  Act locally.”  What can you do on your own street, in your own neighborhood, in your own town to make a difference?  Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Gandhi—all people just like you.  They all started somewhere.

Lessons from the Lorax: “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.  It’s not.”  He was the lone voice of reason in Thneed-ville.  Be the voice in Your-ville. 

Have a care in the world,

Gina J

Hmmmmm...05-13-13

Hmmmmm…05/13/13

"There's one sad truth in life I've found while journeying east and west. The only folks we really wound are those we love the best. We flatter those we scarcely know. We please the fleeting guest. And deal full many a thoughtless blow to those who love us best." -Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Have you hugged your child (spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, grandmother, grandfather, mother, father, sister, or brother) today? 

As famous song lyrics remind us, “You always hurt the one you love, the one you shouldn’t hurt at all.”  And yet, we tend to give ourselves a Get Out of Jail Free card when we mistreat those closest to us.  We justify our behavior by telling ourselves that since our loved ones know us the best, they should understand.  They should forgive.  They should know we love them. 

While a certain amount of venting is healthy, be cautious about becoming the family fault-finder.  If you’ve become the armchair critic at home, it’s time to relinquish your La-Z-Boy. Ask yourself if you would ever treat your co-workers the same way you sometimes treat your spouse.  Are you as patient with your own child as you are with someone else’s?

Instead of folding your arms in disdain, how about opening them in a gesture of love?  There are physical benefits to hugging.  It reduces stress and improves the immune system of the hugger and the huggee!  The average person needs four hugs a day to reap these rewards.  Why not start with your own family?

Charity begins at home,

Gina J

Hmmmmm...05-06-13

Hmmmmm…05/06/13

“If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

Attention Truth Seekers!  Let’s take a Transformational Moral Inventory—a TMI—right here, right now. 

You don’t need a shovel to dig up your truth.  And you don’t need a map to find it.  The only place you have to go is in, as indicated by the word ‘inventory’.  If other people outside of you were responsible for your thoughts and behavior, it would be called an ‘outventory’. 

Begin by asking yourself if you are harboring any ill will.  Are you hanging on to grudges, hates, jealousies, or resentments?  It can be oh-so-easy to justify your own unacceptable behavior.  Perhaps you’ve rationalized your feelings by reassuring yourself that you were provoked, that you had no choice.  Or you’ve tried to dismiss your actions, pretending that your wrongs don’t count, that everyone else does the same thing.

A TMI can reveal TMI—Too Much Information—that we would prefer not to uncover.  When we take cover and deny our weaknesses, we avoid our own truth. And then we can’t recover.

Discover who you are by going on a fact-finding mission.  Appreciate your strengths.Acknowledge your imperfections.  Transform who you are becoming.

Mission: Possible!

Gina J

Hmmmmm...04-15-13

“I don’t have pet peeves like some people.  I have whole kennels of irritation.”

–Whoopi Goldberg

If you’re dog-tired of everyone yanking your chain, read on. Maybe you need to learn to keep your temper on a shorter leash.

Picture this: you are behind a slow driver who keeps tapping the breaks and checking road signs.  Do you immediately begin to tailgate, intending for this unknown driver to sense your rage as you bear down on them at a menacingly close range?  Do you curse about their inability to drive?  Do you then lay on the horn? 

Stop grinding your teeth and unclench your fists.  When you’re constantly aggravated by little annoyances, your body produces too much adrenaline.  Over time, this leads to a weakened heart and stiffening arteries, and can triple your risk of heart attack.  Scientists believe that chronic anger is more dangerous than smoking and obesity as a factor that will contribute to an early death.

There’s nothing warm and fuzzy about pet peeves that can kill you.  Next time you’re following an irritatingly slow driver, take a deep breath and count to ten.  Since our neurological response to anger only lasts about two seconds, the extra eight seconds should help!  Now consider this: maybe this driver is new in town.  Perhaps they’re lost. But one thing is for sure—your anger is not shortening the other guy’s life. 

Call off the dogs before the fur flies.  Learn to tame the savage beast.

Don’t let ‘em rattle your cage,

Gina J

Hmmmmm...04-08-13

“So if you think your life’s complete confusion,
Because your neighbor’s got it made,
Just remember it’s a Grand Illusion,
Deep inside we're all the same.” -Dennis DeYoung, ‘Grand Illusion’, as performed by Styx

It’s all smoke and mirrors, folks.

At any given moment, we might be suffering from confusions, delusions, or illusions—and maybe even all three.  We then further deceive ourselves by imagining that no one else is experiencing any of these hardships.  This self-deception leads us to falsely conclude that we are surrounded by vibrantly healthy people with dream jobs, perfect relationships, angelic children—all of whom easily afford tropical vacations, sleek new sports cars, granite counter tops, and stainless steel appliances.

Some of us could win Academy Awards for masking our personal struggles better than others, having perfected the tricks of the masquerade trade.  Though we all have the faces we wear in public, when the lights go down on the daily show, the masks come off.  There is not one among us who can escape the human condition.  

Plato said, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.”  None of us wants pain—divorce, loss of a job, illness. We all want pleasure—a warm home filled with love and laughter, meaningful employment, good health.  The only real illusion is that we have convinced ourselves that we are different.

Let's act like we're all in this together. 

Support your supporting cast,

Gina J

Hmmmmm...04-01-13

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” –Lily Tomlin

Believe it or not, you are a prophet. 

A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that causes itself to become true, and is based on the beliefs of the prophet—you.  It’s all a matter of mind over matter.  When you believe in yourself, your behavior reflects this confidence, and you manifest the very conditions necessary for success.  Mind-boggling!

But it’s no laughing matter when your prophecies aren’t profitable.  Then you create circumstances that reinforce negative or false beliefs.  Statements such as, “I’ve always been the black sheep in my family,” or “Things just never go my way” have as much power to shape your future as those that come from a place of faith, fortitude, and fearlessness.

Are you a non-prophet— not daring to dream, believing that you are powerless over what life hands you?  Are you the prophet of doom—or the prophet of whom you intend to become?  Never mind what has come before.  Starting now, take matters into your own hands and design your destiny. There’s no better person for the job.

Mind your matters,

Gina J

Hmmmmm...03/25/13

“If you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror.” –Shane Kocyzan

Mirror, mirror on the wall…perception need an overhaul? Let’s reflect.

Are you hyper-focused on the physical—seeing only wrinkles and crow’s feet, instead of crinkles and laugh lines from a lifetime of smiles? Do you see a balding head, instead of more face to love?

Let’s face facts: the one sure thing about time is that it passes. Defining ourselves solely by our appearance spells trouble with a capital T-I-M-E.  Embrace the art of aging gracefully without disgrace.  Not one of us is getting any younger. We’re all in this together.

Take a long, hard look at how you view yourself.  Look past the superficial.  Your inner beauty has nothing to do with bulging biceps or six-pack abs.   It doesn’t go away if your waistline expands or your hair turns grey. Strive to see the timeless you, even if you need reading glasses.  And a better mirror.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

Gina J

Hmmmmm...03-18-13

“Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.” – Rita Mae Brown

The first lesson in resisting temptation?  Never do anything that you wouldn’t want published on the front page of the daily news. Or to explain to the paramedics!

When we think about temptation, the heavy hitters usually come to mind: the steamy extramarital affair, the sordid acts of embezzlement by an executive gone wrong.  Temptation, however, is a daily affair.  It comes in the form of the Girl Scout cookies coaxing you away from counting calories.  It calls you from your cell phone, urging you to text while driving—just this once.  And it urges you to put your two cents in to a disagreement when it doesn’t make sense to do so.

Our best defense in this temptation filled world may be to watch how we label ourselves.  Saying things like, “I just can’t resist sweets” or “Money always burns a hole in my pocket” only opens the door for pastries to parade in and cash to clear out.  We oftentimes live down to the expectations we set for ourselves. 

Make a new name for yourself.  Get rid of outdated labels like Weak and Spineless. Your updated alias? Self-control. Next time temptation whispers in your ear, don’t answer. 

Be a name dropper,

Gina J

Hmmmmm...03-11-13

Hmmmmm…03/11/13

“Value yourself.  The only people who appreciate a doormat are people with dirty shoes.” –Leo Buscaglia

Feeling like the human doormat?  As long as you’re lying down, you’ll get stepped on. 

While it’s important to play well with others, there are times when you need to draw a line in the sandbox.  Bullies come in all shapes, sizes, and ages, too.  They’re not happy until they push you in the mud and take your toys—right along with your pride. 

Playing it safe might mean playing by someone else’s rules—ones that aren’t necessarily right for you.  Love yourself enough to speak up.  Respect yourself enough to reclaim your power. Silence may be golden, but what good is a voice if you are afraid to use it?  No one can take your dignity unless you surrender it.

It’s time to level the playing field and you can’t do that from ground level.  Get up. Capture the flag instead of waving the white one. 

More power to you!

Gina J
     

Hmmmmm...02-18-13

“Sometimes I suffer from indigestion of the mind.” –Carrie Latet

How do you spell relief? M-E-D-I-T-A-T-I-O-N. 

It is estimated that we have 70,000 thoughts per day. Since there are 86,400 seconds in a day, that means we have about 0.8 thoughts per second.  It’s exhausting just to think about—oops, there goes another thought!

When you’ve had one too many helpings of food for thought and your brain is chock-full, the best way to clean your plate is meditation.  A mere twenty minutes of meditation a day reaps numerous physical and mental benefits—from weight loss to curing insomnia—and there are no side effects!  This mental floss helps to eliminate all those thoughts you’ve been gnawing on—and that have been eating at you.

If your mind is all talk, it’s time to take the action of inaction. What do you need to start?  Nothing—and the more of it, the better.  No technology needed, no batteries required.  Then what?  Sit.  Stay.   

It’s all a matter of mind over chatter.

Go out of your mind,

Gina J

Hmmmmm...02-11-13

Hmmmmm…02/11/13

“The secret of education lies in respecting the pupil.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

Here’s a list of some historically prominent self-taught students.  Do any of these names ring a bell? 

Leonardo da Vinci, Abe Lincoln, Malcolm X, Benjamin Franklin, Charles Darwin, the Wright Brothers, Herman Melville, Ernest Hemingway, Ray Bradbury, and Thomas Edison are all considered autodidacts, those who are either partially or completely self-taught.  Many of them overcame incredibly overwhelming odds to do this.  Odds are they were able to achieve great things by believing in their own abilities.

Keith Moon is widely considered one of the greatest drummers of all time.  He had just three lessons.  Jimi Hendrix is considered one of the most influential electric guitarists in the history of music. He learned to play by ear.  David Bowie had only a few singing lessons and taught himself to play five instruments.  Rap superstar Eminem dropped out of high school at age 17.  His love of words comes from a love of reading, and he has even read the dictionary front to back several times.  Steven Spielberg dropped out of film school—twice—and never graduated.

In the School of Thought, you are both teacher and student.  It’s time to test your mettle, but don’t worry.  Acing this test is simple.  It all starts with self-respect.  Don’t stop believin’…

Hold on to that feelin’,

Gina J

Hmmmmm...02-04-13

Hmmmmm…02/04/13

“To belittle, you have to be little.” –Kahlil Gibran

Do you know any fault finders?  Now ask yourself:  are they perfect?

Fault finders have only perfected the quality of feeling superior.  They achieve this by being better players at the Blame Game, using the game pieces of Judge, Jury, and Executioner.  The point of the game is to build themselves up while tearing others down—except that everyone loses in the end.

Bad-mouthing is for bad apples with bad attitudes.  Before you pick up a pawn in this winless contest, ask yourself who will benefit if you decide to play the game.  Could any of us ever beat the charges if we were on trial for crimes of imperfection?

Play in the big leagues.  Don’t belittle.     

Let’s put the ‘kind’ back in mankind,

Gina J

Hmmmmm...01-28-13

Hmmmmm…01/28/13

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."–Jimi Hendrix

Ahh…the Prophets: Jimi Hendrix—so bold as to write about love—and Huey Lewis—who shared his news about love—the power that makes the world go ‘round.

The love of power won’t keep you warm at night.  It won’t dry your tears when you’re sad, hold your hand, or comfort you.  If you’re a power-seeking workaholic clawing your way to the top, ask yourself how excited your desk is to see you on Monday morning.  Power won’t greet you at the door with a big hug at the end of a tough day.

It will never say on your gravestone, “Here lies ________ (your name here).  S/he worked 60 hours a week.”  It may say, however, “Here lies________ (repeat), who was a wonderful son or daughter, brother or sister, husband or wife, father or mother, or friend.  Your desk won’t be at your funeral.  Just so you know.  While we need to make and spend money to live, we need to make and spend time to have a life worth living.

Ready to cancel your power trip?  People all over the world are now boarding the Love Train.  Join them!  In the words of Prophet Huey, “It don’t take money, don’t take fame, don’t need no credit card to ride this train.” Your money’s no good here.  Just so you know.

Feel the power?

Gina J

Hmmmmm...01-22-13

Hmmmmm…01-22-13

“Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?”   -Martin Luther King, Jr.

While it’s true that awesome ends with ‘me’, recent research shows alarming evidence that there has been a dramatic decrease in empathetic concern—aka brotherly love—among our nation’s youth.

The renowned news program, 60 Minutes, ran a story documenting the new breed of American, one who is 40% less empathetic than their counterparts from the 1970s.  It seems that while today’s young Americans have become more confident and assertive, they have also become more self-absorbed and depressed.

Volunteering to help someone in need just may be the cure.  The body experiences a rush of endorphins called the “Helper’s High” during and after performing any selfless act of volunteerism.  Endorphins are your body’s natural pain killers—as strong as and often stronger than morphine—that not only decrease pain, but improve your overall emotional health. 

The profound positive effects of volunteerism in older adults are widely documented.  Now research is showing that volunteering prevents risky behaviors in teens, increases academic success, and decreases symptoms of mild to moderate depression.  It looks like volunteering really does pay!

Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.  Help carry the load.  We’re all in this together.

He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother,

Gina J

Hmmmmm...01-14-13

“I miss your smile… but I miss mine more.” ― Laurel House

This just in: you cannot make everyone happy!

Let’s face it.  Some people could win an Academy award for playing the role of victim.  To them, it’s better to get negative attention than none at all.  Eliciting sympathy becomes the only way that they can interact with others.  It would take a pick axe to make these people crack a smile.

If you’re unable to bring joy to the cast of The Crying Game, maybe it’s time to change the supporting actors in your life.  The field of neuroscience has recently discovered that negative people can actually have a detrimental effect on the physical structure of the brains of those around them!  It may be best to cast these Brain Drainers aside if they’re acting out.

Smiling improves your immunity, increases your tolerance for pain, and decreases your level of impatience—even if it’s only a ‘fake’ smile.  Set the stage for your own happiness and fake it ‘til you make it!

Lights, camera, action!

Gina J  

Hmmmmm...01-07-13

Hmmmmm…01/07/13

“Whether we want them or not, the New Year will bring new challenges; whether we seize them or not, the New Year will bring new opportunities.—Michael Josephson

Resolutions may come and go, but the guilt of failure can last the whole year through.  This year, let’s make a brand new kind of resolution—one that strengthens instead of sabotages.

Somewhere out in 2013, a storm is brewing with your name on it.  Resolve right now to ride the waves of life’s challenges that will inevitably arrive.  Decide whether the weather will ruffle your feathers, or if you’ll be the calm in the storm.  You may not be able to control the environment, but you can always control the invironment.  Don’t abandon ship.  The sun will shine again.

Somewhere out in 2013, a door is waiting with your name on it. Opportunity will knock, but won’t hang around in the hallway waiting for you to answer.  Resolve to open some doors—and yourself—to possibilities.

Reader recap? Relax.  Receive.

Redo!

Gina J